Hard Work!

I decided that since I have been so great with writing almost everyday, whether it be on my blog or in my journal that I would draw a picture yesterday. Well was that ever difficult or what! I started out alright but I've always had a hard time with faces, and I'm usually a very fast drawer. I worked on this piece for three hours before finally giving it up... Although I shouldn't use those words giving up, I look at it as a rest. I decided to put it down due to my extreme frustration with myself and take a crack at it later. I couldn't understand why it was so difficult for me to do. Then I remembered M was up. Darn babies and all their glorious distractions!

I'm beginning to realize though, that I should start learning to work through the distraction or I will never get anything done. With M I find this very difficult to do because she is my responsibility. I want to know what she's doing, where she is, what she's getting into, or how she is playing. Not only that but I don't feel that she is at an age yet where she should have to amuse herself. She is very capable of keeping herself busy but I hate brushing her off for my own pleasure. I'm sure this is a problem many stay at home mom's have. How do you cope with trying to get all the things you want to accomplish finished when you can't help but get lost in your child's activities?

So my next mission is going to be to find the answer to that question... I have a feeling it's going to be a long journey but, I need to know. Is it really darn near impossible to get all the things you want done when you're a stay at home mom. The other night I wanted to get out of the house since it had been nearly a week since I left the confines of this building I call home. So I dropped C off at rehearsal and wanted to take the munchkin to Toys'r'us. She screamed so loud the entire drive, and I mean wailed to the point where she could barely breath and I could barely think. We drove like this all the way there only to find that the store had just closed. So I did the only thing I knew would work. I went to Walmart.... My worst enemy, I hate to love and love to hate this store, but it was the only one open where I could browse up and down the toy aisle with M and keep her quiet. She eventually started screaming again and we left to pick up C. This was my break........

I'm finding more and more that I do not ever get to have a break. I think about C for example. He leaves for work in the morning and comes back home at night when he gets home that's his break. I wake up with M in the morning and am still with her until she goes to bed, where's my break? Even on weekends I'm still with her, I do not have a break from this job unless I need to do some serious grocery shopping or C and I get a sitter for the night and go out. Recently my mother in law has been taking little M once a month for two nights and three days. I cannot express my gratitude towards this woman for giving me that little window of opportunity to have a relationship, some alone time and a meal where I'm not cleaning up after everyone else, nor am I changing diapers! Yet some how I find that it's not enough I need a mid week break. A hump day to have to myself, but the question still remains how do you get it and what do you do once you've got it? It's amazing how a little thing like a few hours alone can make such a huge difference in a person's life. Once I find the answers to all of these questions I will be sure to let you all know! Now I must sign off because there's a diaper to be changed......