Practice, Practice, Practice!

When my mother said "practice makes perfect" I never used to listen. I always thought being perfect made perfect. I was the type of person to always want to just be perfect, I didn't think I should have to work hard to become good at anything. The way I saw it was if I didn't do it right the first time then I needed to move on to something else that I was good at. Now as I get older I'm beginning to realize that I may be great at many things but that doesn't mean I can't be even better at them with a little practice. I want to be awesome at all kinds of things and to do that I need to keep doing them. I can't just do something once and say "wow I'm great" then forget about it.

While I was thinking this another thought came to mind, I'm conceited..... That was a tough pill to swallow. I may not be your average "look at me, I'm amazing, I'm better than you" kind of conceited, but that doesn't change the fact that I am. When it comes to the things I excel at I used to truly believe I was so great I couldn't push myself any farther because I had already made it to the top. Now I am beginning to see that just because I'm on top doesn't mean I don't need to make that journey back down to the bottom of the mountain. I think that when you peak you are only half way there, think of how much more you have to experience in that trek back down. Only on the way down it's easier because you're a little wiser than you were on the way up, and by the time you get to the bottom you can say to yourself "wow that was hard but I did it" and now you can feel accomplished.

You need to practice to be perfect, then once you feel you've reached perfection, practice the art of perfection until you can't remember what it was like to not be amazing at what you're doing. This cannot be applied to all things in this life because we are human and our minds are infinite so we will never stop learning and will always have something to practice at. For example I will never perfect the art of mothering as I am growing and learning with my child, and any subsequent children I will have will be different from my first so I will be growing and learning with them as well. However that will not stop me from practicing the art of perfecting mothering.

My toughest challenge so far has been to practice being a good warmhearted person. It's very difficult as I am only human, and I have wants and needs, and they occasionally get the better of me and I begin to think selfishly. I am trying to eliminate this selfish part of my character and become a more giving, optimistic person. It is difficult for me to do that because for some reason I have developed this notion that I always deserve more than what others can offer me. This is not always the case but when it is I instantly feel bad about myself for not having taking other people's lives and feelings into account. I have this problem with C a lot. He does so much for me but sometimes I am so blinded by jealousy or greed that I don't see what he has given me I only see what I have given him. Often times I can tell that he has done the same. We become selfish! How can two people who love each other so much become so negative and greedy?

The answer is, we are only human. Humans make mistakes, and the only way to fix them is to practice becoming better people. Then we must perfect that and practice the art of always being selfless, compassionate people. It will take a long time to achieve this but it can be done, and it is my ultimate goal as a mother, spouse, friend, daughter and so on to accomplish this goal of being a selfless human being.